Written in May 2019 – journal pages
I wrote it in May 2019 but I never pressed the publish bottom on this article. In December, I will be sharing weekly posts about my life in Chicago, the ups and downs. Curious?
People,
I am still alive. Weeks have been busy and unfortunately, I have not been able to post here weekly as before.
I wished I could come here and write all amazing things that are happening in Chicago but honestly since I moved, I have not had the chance to enjoy myself much and do much apart from studying, going to university and working. I find myself 3/4 of the days of the week eating either in class or in the bus (I love you American life).
A little bit more about school…
I wished I did not ask myself so much. There is not one single day since I moved that I felt 100% comfortable in my new life. If only anyone could see and understand fully how hard it has been for me so far. How hard it is to go back to school but especially step out of my comfortable zone and learn something totally different from what I know, from my world, from my work from my previous life. I cried almost everyday either on my own either in my friend’s lap because I literally don‘t know how to handle the all situation I am living. Now you might ask: but what is wrong?
Honestly, when you sit down in a classroom and for 3 hours you feel you are swimming and not even able to follow the 30 first minutes among equates, projections, geometry, R and some calculus, of course. Man, it is hard! And when you realize you are good at literally non of the classes… you, you really start question yourself and your capacities. When you have put all your hope and expectations in something and the immediate outcome is terrible painful and expensive… You really start asking yourself. At least, I do.
Have a wonderful week!
Beijinho,
Daniela
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