Confessions

People tell me to forget who I was and what I did. People tell me to forget the experiences I had and the jobs I did. People also tell me to be less me and to be more “American”. Around here, fake smiles and “b***” emails are the best. Sometimes I feel lost. Lost in the immensity of things I see and live daily but more than that, in the immensity of events, moments and people I met before.

How can I simply forget that I worked in Marketing for 4 years? How can I forget that as a student, I worked for almost 2 years in cafes and bars? How can I forget that for more than a year of my life I traveled from one place to another without stopping? How can I forget that I lived by the sea for months? How can I forget all the people I met who made my life so much better?

I see myself in a huge dilemma between what I have been and what I am becoming and so far I have not been able to see if like this new Daniela.

The only thing I know is that I do not want to forget. I do not want to forget. I do not want to forget all those wonderful years of growth as a professional; I do not want to forget all those dishes and glasses that I served because they made me a more humble and honest person; I do not want to forget all the travels and places I saw because they taught me to love even more our planet.

And for all this and more, why should I forget all I built for years to simply become what is supposed to be one of the best-paid professions in America? I am still wondering if I fit into this new system I put myself through …

What about? Who has ever felt anything like this?

Beijinho,

Daniela