I have been living abroad for the past 9 – 10 years. Before that, I left my parents house when I was only 17 years old. Being an independent women is one of the things I love the most about myself but things were not always easy. I could write a book about the problems I faced, all the jobs I had that honestly did not pay well or even the weird feelings of moving around so much. BUT Today, I want to talk about 5 things: 5 things that have kept me going in this amazing journey of living abroad. If you are curious about living or working abroad; If you are dying to do it, then this is the post FOR YOU!
1. Have a drive
This is maybe the hardest one but also the most important one. Always know where you want to go. Have a vision! You do not need to know everything single detail but you need to understand what drives you, what makes you wake up early, what excites you. When I first start working in Paris, France, life was very hard for me. I did not speak French, I barely knew anyone in the city and even though I had a degree, I had zero work experience. I started working as a waitress to pay my bills. As bad as I did not want to work on something like that, I knew I needed to pay my rent and I had no other option. In the beginning I felt so ashamed. 😀 I was embarrassed and I did not want to tell my parents, after so many years investing on my studies, I could not get anything either than a waitress job (nothing against people who do it, but I really did not dream about it). Weeks passed and I finally realized, if I did not want to do that job, then needed to do something else.
I applied every single day for months and nothing came up. I got some interviews but my French and my lack of experience did not help me to get a job. I ended up accepting an almost unpaid job as a part-time communication assistant in a start-up. My boss always paid me but I definitely did not make a lot of money for the number of hours I was working. I still remember my desk being an iron table (it was really a start-up).
Most of the time I was on the phone with customers that had bought our trips, or liking, posting events on social media or other websites. It was not the most changeling job ever but I was speaking French or listening the language most of the time. Sometimes you got do what you do not like to get where you want to want.
2. Have a mentor
This one is tricky because I never looked for a mentor. I only realized after years that I have had one in my early days in France. He has completely shaped my life and my personality in a better way and I am forever grateful for everything he taught me. I still remember the first day I met him.
It was my first day working as a waitress in a Spanish restaurant. I had eaten and the manager has sent me to clean the bathroom. I was standing, almost crying because never have I thought I would have to clean a bathroom in a restaurant if I was a waitress. He got in the bathroom that moment, look at me and said: ‘Hi! Have you done this before? Never, I said (already crying). Do not worry, he said! Maybe I can show you how to do it’. It was the beginning of one of the most pure friendships I have ever had in my life.
I like him so much for all the caring but also all the wake up pushes and hard words he told me when I needed to hear them. I still remember, one afternoon I met him and I mentioned I had received a call for an interview but I was not going to go. My excuse was: ‘the company is too far and at the restaurant, they are doing training, maybe I will get promoted’. He looked at me as I have never seen him and said: ‘Training to sell coffee or bottles of wine? I thought you had studied something else and wanted to do something else for your life. That comment hurt me so bad because I knew he was right.‘Was I doing something I really wanted?.’ The other day I went to the interview and little I knew my life was about the change months later.
3. Surround yourself with good ones
The people you surround yourself will be the key of your success (BELIEVE ME). Walk with losers and you will be a loser (there are some exceptions but most of the time, I have to admit, people play an huge role on your life). I only understood with time. Many years ago, while I was living in France, I was doing my second internship and working in a Italian restaurant at night and during the weekend. My internship paid was too low and my tips and hours from the restaurant helped me to paid the bills. My co-workers in the restaurant had almost all of them drop school or they were having a time off to figure out what to do after. They were nice. We laugh together sometimes and I knew they enjoy going out a lot. I was working all the time so most of the things they did together, I could never attend. So I felt a bit the black sheep. :S
I still remember one night we went out during the week. I was always working and although I knew going out was not a good idea because I had to work at 9 am the following day, I did. I just wanted to have some fun and feel that I had girlfriends. I don’t remember how much I drank but for sure we went to more than 5 different bars. I ended up going home at 4:30 am. The next day when the alarm rang, I did not wake up. My manager tried to call me 3 or 4 times and only around 12 pm, I was able to texted her saying I was sick.
That afternoon I cried so bad asking myself why I was doing dumb/ stupid things. That was exactly the moment I realized how important was focusing on the people I had around me.
4. Give your best, ALWAYS
I have done jobs that I liked a lot and jobs that I hated a lot. Life has always a sweet and bitter side of things. However, with time, I have understood no matter how bad something can be, always try the best you can. I was a terrible waitress when I started (I was not fast, I did not know the menus, I did not understand the clients). Just like I was a terrible failure when I joined my master in the US. I could not add any value in the conversations, I could not understand and do any of my homework alone and most of the material from class seemed Mandarin to me. However, I have put so much time on improving, getting better. Even today, sometimes takes me 10 hours to write few lines of code. I might not know everything straight away and I might need to spend more time to figure things out BUT, people around me always know that I give my very best in what I do and that’s what last. That’s how you want people to remember you. That’s how you build your network.
5. Trust the process
The last but also a very hard one: TRUST THE PROCESS. I am a very impatient person and for me everything has the happen and arrive right away. However, life has also taught me that sometimes it is not as fast as I wished. Being prepare to accept that good things that take time was on the most important lessons I learned in Australia.
Please, for all of you that are hoping to live abroad or looking for the first job outside of your country: be patient! The good opportunities will arrive if you prepare daily for them, I promise. If you don’t believe m, read the following:
The first week I arrived in Australia I had 5 phone interviews lined up. All of them went terrible (either my visa did not match with expectations or I could not understand the recruiters – Aussie accent can be tricky). Weeks passed by and I continued to received calls but very few interviews turned into something concrete. After 4 weeks in the country, I was ready to find a random job to cover the investment I have done in moving to Australia. Suddenly the plan was to get some extra cash and return to France. That week I got a call for an interview. I went for the interview on a Friday and surprisingly them liked my profile a lot. They called for second round the following week and within a week I started my best ever paid job (I was making more than the double than in France and working from 9am to 4pm)! Have a look here. Good things take TIME!
I am sorry for the long post but I hope you all enjoyed it. Hope this is helpful for those looking to live, study or work abroad. Have a great week.
Beijinho,
Daniela
Photo by Avel Chuklanov on Unsplash and Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash and Photo by Joey Csunyo on Unsplash